Broken Relationships

There are very few people in the world who don’t know the pain that comes from a broken relationship. There is always one person that is more committed than the other in any relationship, even though the other person may not realize it until the relationship comes to an end. You may think you have met your soul mate and everything is perfect when suddenly, they don’t want to be with you any more.



There are also marriages that end unexpectedly, sometimes after many years of what appeared to be a happy marriage. Often, the end comes after one spouse finds out that the other has been unfaithful. Sometimes, it is just the decision to lead a different type of lifestyle. Some couples happily grow old together while others grow apart.



If you find yourself in a broken relationship, the first thing to do is determine if it can be mended or if you want to try. The only way this has any possibility of being successful is if both people agree that they want to mend the relationship. If either one is insincere, then it is just a cruel lie to say that they will work on it. If you don’t want to come to a resolution, then there is no point in making any type of attempt.



If you do decide to try and mend your broken relationship, do it a little at a time. Don’t expect to just jump back in and pick up where you left off. Something was wrong in the first place or there wouldn’t have been a break. You will have to face the problem or problems head on and talk, talk, talk. Use statements with "I" instead of "you".



If you can’t seem to stop fighting, then come to an agreement on how much time you will allow yourselves to fight and then agree on the "stop" button. When either of you calls a stop to the fight, the other agrees to end it. If you continually fight about the same thing, then you will have to come to a resolution before anything can be mended. If you fight about everything, then there is most likely still one issue at the bottom of the problem. You will both have to work to figure out what it is.



If you have come to the conclusion that you can’t mend your broken relationship and you have tried everything possible to make it work, then it may be time to call it an end. Sometimes one spouse can’t get past it when the other spouse cheats on them and they are more focused on getting even than getting over it. No matter what type of feelings you have when a relationship ends, it is going to be difficult to end it. There will be feelings of sadness and loss as well as failure and guilt. The longer the relationship has lasted, the more bonds there are between you and the more painful it will be to let go.



Don’t try to get revenge on your spouse, no matter what the problem was that caused the damage to your relationship. It may destroy any possibility of mending it and will only make things more difficult if it does come to an end. Face the problem head-on, together, without the anger.